Safer Sex 101

Since my last post was about STIs, I thought it would be appropriate to write a quick post about safe sex and safer sex. So what do I mean when I use the terms, “safe sex” and “safer sex”? In my opinion, these two phrases gauge the riskiness of specific sexual behavior in regards to the likelihood of whether or not a person can contract an STI from it. Safe sex is an activity that has absolutely no risk of contracting an STI. Safer sex has much less risk than unprotected sex, but risk is still present.

Safe Sex Practices

Masturbation

Masturbation is a wonderful thing, but it’s still a pretty taboo subject. Parents don’t dare to talk about it with their kids and, in general, it has been turned into a joke amongst teenage boys and in comedies. Young women are told they are not supposed to masturbate because it’s weird and gross. And some people are even disturbed with the idea that their significant other masturbates while in a relationship with them. But why does this have to be the case? There are many benefits to masturbation. Through masturbation, an individual can learn about their body and what makes them feel good. Knowing and accepting one’s body is essential to having high self-esteem. Also knowing your body’s likes and dislikes will make interacting with a partner easier and more pleasurable. Plus, there is an air of independence around masturbation. Masturbation says, “I know my body. I’m in control of my body. And I can experience pleasure on my own without the assistance of someone else.” There is something powerful about not needing to rely on someone else for pleasure (maybe that is why young women are told not to masturbate). And, back to my original point, an individual could masturbate all they want and never have to worry about contracting an STI. Partners can also masturbate together in the same room. This is known as mutual masturbation. Through mutual masturbation, partners can learn more about their partners’ bodies and what gives them pleasure. Because the partners are not touching, there is no possibility of an STI being transmitted.

Other Safe Sex Practices

Planned Parenthood’s website also includes cyber sex, phone sex and sharing fantasies as safe sex practices, which I really like because they, along with masturbation, expand the definition of what sex is. A lot of people define sex as penis-vagina intercourse. Others add anal intercourse to the short list and a smaller group of people count oral sex as sex too. Personally, I tend to define sex as any activity that gives sexual pleasure and could lead to an orgasm. So I think of masturbation as having sex with oneself and I think that partners can have sex without a penis involved or without penetration at all.

Safer Sex Practices

Kissing

The reason why kissing is in the “safer sex” category is because there are a few STIs that one can contract from kissing (see my STI 101 post for more information). Certain STIs can be transmitted by infected saliva and enter the body through cuts in the mouth/lips or bleeding gums (due to brushing one’s teeth or flossing).

Fondling

There is a chance (albeit small) when partners touch each other in a sexual manner, that STIs can be transmitted by someone’s bodily fluids coming in contact with cuts on an individual’s hand, allowing the STI to enter the body. Wearing latex gloves (or polyurethane gloves if someone has a latex allergy) is a simple way to reduce the risk of contracting an STI by creating a barrier.

Dry Humping

Depending on the amount of clothes the people in question are wearing, there may be an exchange of bodily fluids. If this is the case, the chances for STI transmission increase.

Oral Sex

For STIs like HIV, oral sex is a very low-risk form of safer sex (in comparison to vaginal and anal intercourse), but this is not the case with all STIs (see STI 101 post for more information). Condoms and dental dams create a barrier so that the chances of coming in contact with infected bodily fluids are reduced. Dental dams also reduce skin-to-skin contact. For those who do not know, dental dams are rectangular pieces of latex that can be placed upon the genitals and anus and used for oral sex. The Sheer Glyde dam is a brand of dental dam that has been approved for safer sex by the FDA. Admittedly, dental dams can be pretty hard to find since one cannot just pick them up from the average drugstore next to the condoms for some reason. However, dental dams can be purchased online and in sex toy shops (like Babeland) or picked up for free at clinics/health centers, like Planned Parenthood. If a dental dam is not present, non-microwaveable saran wrap/plastic wrap or a condom or glove that has been cut open in a rectangular shape can be used as a substitute.

Vaginal/Anal Intercourse with a Condom and Lubricant

Vaginal and anal intercourse are the two sexual activities with the highest risk of STI transmission. Using condoms and lube can substantially reduce this risk. As it does with oral sex, condoms form a barrier so that individuals can decrease their chances of coming in contact with infected bodily fluids. Also proper lubricant (water-based and silicone-based lubricants [see HIV 101 post for more information on lubricants]) will prevent tears from forming in the vaginal and anal canals so STIs cannot enter the body. It is important to note that condoms do not reduce the risk of all STI transmission altogether. There are STIs that are spread through skin-to-skin contact or by contact with open sores that may not be completely covered by a condom (or a dental dam for that matter). “Female” condoms (also known as insertive or “innie”condoms) cover more surface area than “male” condoms (“outie” condoms), reducing the likelihood of STI transmission due to skin-to-skin contact. They are just as effective as barriers against contact with potentially infected bodily fluids.

Life is all about taking risks. Educate yourself and make the right decisions, according to your needs and ideals.

For this information and more, check out the PlannedParenthood website 

Preview of the next post: Birth Control 101 and maybe a little politics.