Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Bisexuality - The Thing to Be?

Bisexuality seems to be the new hip thing to identify as in our mainstream society. It seems like every college-aged women is bisexual and one can’t watch a movie or TV show without seeing two women kiss. However, looks can be deceiving. Although it seems as if individuals who identify as bisexual are the stars of mainstream sexual culture, a deeper look would reveal a very different perception of bisexual individuals in the US. I would argue that bisexual individuals (as well as other individuals who do not fit perfectly on either side of the Kinsey Scale) face exclusion and negativity from both mainstream/heterosexual society and the gay/lesbian community.


In general, people love categories, especially binaries. Binaries create a false sense of simplicity and order in a complex world. Binaries can obviously cause discord by pitting one group against another, but they can also render invisible other groups who do not fit perfectly within them. These groups become marginalized and are often resented simply because they do not fit in. These groups stand as proof that binaries are unrealistic and incorrect and no one likes to be proven wrong. In the context of sexual orientation, there is one major binary: Gay vs. Straight. This binary is accepted by both sides and many members of either side resent those individuals who stand in the face of their social construction. In this post, I am specifically referring to individuals who identify as bisexual.

Now, I want to specifically elaborate on the ways bisexuality is stigmatized by both sides of the binary. However, before I begin, I just want to say, “Not all bisexual individuals are discriminated against equally.” This is especially the case in the mainstream heterosexual culture. Bisexual men and women are treated and viewed in completely different ways. Bisexual women are the jewels of mainstream heterosexual fantasies. They are constantly depicted in movies and TV shows. They are fetishized by most straight men, who constantly fantasize about two women kissing and fondling each other for their entertainment. However, this is not empowering for the women in question. Their attraction to other women is turned into a toy solely for the pleasure of straight men. It is not considered a legitimate desire. Many straight men do not consider it cheating if their girlfriend were to kiss or have sex with a woman. They do not think it is possible for a woman to steal their girlfriend away because implicitly, they believe that a relationship is not a relationship and sex is not sex unless a penis is present. Also many straight men and women believe that bisexual women are ‘easy,’ greedy and completely incapable of having a serious relationship. Bisexual men, on the other hand, are ignored.


In the gay/lesbian community, bisexuality is generally rejected as a viable sexual orientation altogether. In “Dismissal and Appropriation of Bisexuality in Queer, Lesbian, and Gay Theory,” Christopher James discusses commonly endorsed opinions regarding bisexuality in the gay/lesbian community. Bisexuality, if it’s even acknowledged, is either seen as a liminal space (a point of transition) for individuals “who do not know their ‘true’ gay or lesbian selves” (222) or it is seen as a closet for those who are too afraid to come out. However, one’s gender does dictate exactly how one is resented in the gay/lesbian community. Bisexual men are believed to be gay men who are closeted while bisexual women are seen as straight women who only like women until they graduate from college and get married to a man. Gay men and lesbians also think bisexual individuals are greedy and unable to be in a committed relationship, not because they are necessarily slutty, but because it is feared that their desire for both sexes makes it impossible for bisexual people to commit. Now, to some extent, I can understand why homosexual individuals would be resentful of bisexuals. The best and most logical arguments I have heard involve heterosexual privilege and the origins of the homosexual orientation. Martin S. Weinberg, Colin J. Williams and Douglas W. Pyor in their book, "Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality," state that “bisexuals could exercise ‘heterosexual privilege’ – i.e., they could always revert to a comfortable identity rather than suffer the consequences of standing up for their gay rights” (117). Bisexual individuals have the privilege of entering into a heterosexual relationship and would avoid a lot of the stigma that gay men and lesbians have to face on a daily basis. As result, bisexual individuals can be seen as outsiders at best and traitors at worst. And I have also heard that some gay people worry that bisexuality is a fly in the ointment for the theory of sexual orientation as a biological/genetic phenomenon instead of a conscious choice because bisexuals are attracted to both men and women. In my opinion, I do not think that this is the case. Personally, I think it is highly unfair that it is left to gay/lesbian individuals to prove that their sexual orientation is normal or natural. Heterosexual individuals have never had to justify their orientation. In fact, I’m sure many heterosexual people have never really given the origin of their orientation a first or second thought. I think this tension between the gay/lesbian and bisexual communities is ultimately caused by the burden of proof that is forced onto the collective lap of all non-heterosexual individuals in regards to the legitimacy of their respective sexual orientations. I tend to believe this rift would not exist if all orientations were considered equally legitimate without the need to justify it.


Bisexuality, or should I say female bisexuality, is becoming very popular in the mainstream media. We are being led to believe that it is a craze that is leading to a new kind of sexual revolution in this country. I doubt it. I think it is just reaffirming the same heteronormative and prejudiced views on sexuality that have been around for years. However, I think a true sexual revolution will come when all sexual orientations are treated as equally legitimate by mainstream society.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A Quick Thought: Sex Ed Classes


So yesterday, I was thinking about national and standardized sex education classes. Obviously, I think comprehensive sex education classes should be taught in every school all over the country. I think that the hypothetical standardized sex ed classes should discuss certain topics (as listed in my earlier blog post about my dream sex education classes) and specific points and facts within these topics. The standardized classes should also make room for local needs, i.e. a need for an extended discussion about teen pregnancy. I was also thinking about having three mandatory sex classes: one at age 12, one at 15 and one at 17/18 in their senior year of high school. I think these classes should be age appropriate and the issues could be discussed with more complexity as the students mature. I’d imagine that the first class would focus a bit more on physiology/anatomy and puberty than the other classes and the last class would also discuss college life and entering the “real world”. These three classes would be beneficial for two reasons. First, three classes would ensure that the students do not forget important information and help them understand concepts that a one time semester-long health class does not have the time to cover. Secondly, when I think about the kind of person I was at age 12, 15 and 18, it almost seems as if I was three different people with different needs and questions. Having these three year-long classes at three different points in the students’ life would cater to their specific needs and allow for more knowledgeable and well-rounded individuals.